amanda writes

Recession? Sex is cheap.

well, surprise surprise after months and months of "is it?" "isn't it?" the question looks to be getting a bit of a YES. It looks like the United States is heading towards a recession.

First things that comes to mind; you know when a girl has a mole and is ugly they call it a mole, but when a girl is beautiful like say Cindy Crawford and she has a 'mole' they call it a 'beauty mark' uh huh. Well if you call a recession say 'a break from spending' or 'time to spend more time at home' 'or a spending holiday' perhaps we too can make a 'recession' less scary or ugly. It's doesn't all have to be bad, instead of tightening our belts, we can spend less and just take our pants right off...

First - everyone spends to much f&cking money on crap. I know because i've got kids and they want want want, they have been taught to be little consumers by the media and frankly also by their sometimes ridiculous can't say no parents. Now i'd like to say that people the consumers are just the idiots; you know you shouldn't spend what you don't have but hey - you've got a credit card so you do spend too much.... what you don't figure on is this massive thing called interest sometimes to the tune of 18-24%. But it's not just stupid people it's governments. They all overspend, they're all in debt; the U.S. has massive debt. They've spent what they don't have and they don't have a bank to foreclose on their house --- so they just keep doing it.

Somewhere, somehow we all decided we should spend all are time and money buying cheap shit made in China and then we have debt and messy, cluttered homes. If we only bough crafted good things and far less of them, because they'll cost more and stopped equating 'havism' with being important or special we'd all be better off.

There is an upside to the fact that this year or next you won't be able to afford to go to the movies or out for dinner....you'll have more sex. Sex is cheap, thrilling and unless you don't use birth control shouldn't cost you anything more down the road.

So keep your credit card in your wallet and hang your pants on the chair. It's time to 'spend more time at home.'
a

Don't kiss me, write.

with the horrible red event looming; Valentines. I have decided to put a message out there on behalf of all us women who don't want roses or chocolates. Roses are pretty but they die, if you must buy flowers, and by must i mean you leave the 'thought' of valentines completely to the wayside and just have to pick something up quick so the wife/girl/lady friend doesn't bitch then buy something growing and alive. chocolates make people fat and most of them taste like crap.

Okay so i generally have never liked valentines gifts from men. My first one in grade seven at a really bad dance was given by a guy who thought kissing meant slobbering all over the girls face. It wasn't cute then and it stills runs shivers up my spine in the icky bad way. Then came the stuffed animal which frankly was almost worse than the spit. A bear holding a heart that i would have liked to shove done his smiling mouth . Small children like stuffed animals or at least some of them do and i suppose there are some nutters out there who liked stuffed animals and probably waste their money collecting them. Sadness. Stuffed animals are for small children, not your lover, not your girlfriend and certainly not someone you want a blow job from. yes i am aware of the man goal for valentines and it's not found in heart shaped box. The most you're going to get from a stuffed animal is a cuddle or a punch in the face if you know me...

anyway i won't lie and say money can't buy love because well we all know it can't really buy true love but it can be substituted for what you might get from love. Ie. you take the yacht because well it's a yacht and sure you wouldn't die for him, but you'd do pretty much anything else because well he gave you a yacht. Home in Paris, 5 plus carat diamond and small island can be substituted for said yacht but you know what i mean..anyone whose really been in love knows it more a pain in the ass than great so well avoiding it at all costs can be emotionally frigid but economically advantageous. terrible but true. love can hurt.

i'm not generally the kind of girl who is motivated by gifts. I like to work hard and get a paycheck but i believe you pay for everything you get and frankly the price with dudes who want to buy apartments and such is too high. i decided i was a good girl two years after university when a wealthy business man asked if he could buy me an apartment in new york and he'd visit once a week for 'business' while his wife and kids stayed in his home city. I politely declined. I'm not really the accommodating type.

So now with my lovely man and valentines around the corner i know what i want; a letter. a real love letter; not dirty talk masquerading as the 'real' deal and i actually abhor the word love generally; it's overused. People love waffles and veggie wraps and Britney Spears (or at least they did). What i want is a letter telling me not that i'm loved but why.

So there you go that's what i want for valentines a real, old fashioned, in dark ink letter - not an email, not an IM. And yes he could definitely seal it with a kiss.

a

bitches with no depth and canadian schlock- HELP Showtime

over the holidays i've been hidden under the dust of drywall, plaster wrapping paper and now i'm just coming out from the pile of self help and diet books. No I'm not being serious, but i assume that if you are into that this is the time of year for it. i've been working through the holidays and i'm a bit tired but not bored enough to find 7 steps to an easier life. no thanks. I'm making my own path. My plan this year is to just go with the flow and so far it's going swimmingly - i might even by a pair of flippers.

so it's now in the okay zone here in canada before winter like a woman scorned closes up shop and turns cold. Yep soon we'll be in the minus zone and it's a place i don't like. I've already been outfitted with furry slippers and i don't think i'll take them off until april (late april) so amidst my work, my house work and well life in general i'll be holing up to avoid the freezingness not a real word but i like it. and i need help. nothing new is coming out that i am aware of on showtime or any other good network....

I am not into reruns. so with no delectable Dexter, no Californication to keep me warm and even the horrific America's next top models is has left the runway so i'm left with nothing. I saw three minutes of cashmere mafia and i alternated between wanting to puke or poke my own eyes out to avoid it. What makes dexter and moody so fab is called character depth. You know where characters are more than just the 'bitchy corporate' or the 'slutty stay at home' hmmm. It would be cheaper for the producers of cashmere mafia to use paper dolls than pay these actors because the characters have the depth of a piece of photo copy paper, not even card stock in that show. she's a bitch, she's clever, she's sneaky; and i'm fricking bored. If i want to see a woman hitting on a guy in a matching track suit all i have to do is look out my front door. At least that woman i can actually reach when i want to slap her.

So I need help. tell me a show, that has something. if it's cheese it needs to be excessive cheese, if it's silly i want real silly, with the american election coverage and the canadian news a girl needs an escape. i found myself caught on a terrible show on CBC (the canadian government channel really) the other night and it felt so 80's and haha fake; i wasn't even sure what to make of it. was it tongue in cheek? I'm still not sure.

I've made good progress on pillars of the earth which frankly is slightly depressing, not the book but the fact that it's better than anything on tv.

turning it off for now.
a

bitches with no depth and canadian schlock- HELP Showtime

over the holidays i've been hidden under the dust of drywall, plaster wrapping paper and now i'm just coming out from the pile of self help and diet books. No I'm not being serious, but i assume that if you are into that this is the time of year for it. i've been working through the holidays and i'm a bit tired but not bored enough to find 7 steps to an easier life. no thanks. I'm making my own path. My plan this year is to just go with the flow and so far it's going swimmingly - i might even by a pair of flippers.

so it's now in the okay zone here in canada before winter like a woman scorned closes up shop and turns cold. Yep soon we'll be in the minus zone and it's a place i don't like. I've already been outfitted with furry slippers and i don't think i'll take them off until april (late april) so amidst my work, my house work and well life in general i'll be holing up to avoid the freezingness not a real word but i like it. and i need help. nothing new is coming out that i am aware of on showtime or any other good network....

I am not into reruns. so with no delectable Dexter, no Californication to keep me warm and even the horrific America's next top models is has left the runway so i'm left with nothing. I saw three minutes of cashmere mafia and i alternated between wanting to puke or poke my own eyes out to avoid it. What makes dexter and moody so fab is called character depth. You know where characters are more than just the 'bitchy corporate' or the 'slutty stay at home' hmmm. It would be cheaper for the producers of cashmere mafia to use paper dolls than pay these actors because the characters have the depth of a piece of photo copy paper, not even card stock in that show. she's a bitch, she's clever, she's sneaky; and i'm fricking bored. If i want to see a woman hitting on a guy in a matching track suit all i have to do is look out my front door. At least that woman i can actually reach when i want to slap her.

So I need help. tell me a show, that has something. if it's cheese it needs to be excessive cheese, if it's silly i want real silly, with the american election coverage and the canadian news a girl needs an escape. i found myself caught on a terrible show on CBC (the canadian government channel really) the other night and it felt so 80's and haha fake; i wasn't even sure what to make of it. was it tongue in cheek? I'm still not sure.

I've made good progress on pillars of the earth which frankly is slightly depressing, not the book but the fact that it's better than anything on tv.

turning it off for now.
a

bitches with no depth and canadian schlock- HELP Showtime

over the holidays i've been hidden under the dust of drywall, plaster wrapping paper and now i'm just coming out from the pile of self help and diet books. No I'm not being serious, but i assume that if you are into that this is the time of year for it. i've been working through the holidays and i'm a bit tired but not bored enough to find 7 steps to an easier life. no thanks. I'm making my own path. My plan this year is to just go with the flow and so far it's going swimmingly - i might even by a pair of flippers.

so it's now in the okay zone here in canada before winter like a woman scorned closes up shop and turns cold. Yep soon we'll be in the minus zone and it's a place i don't like. I've already been outfitted with furry slippers and i don't think i'll take them off until april (late april) so amidst my work, my house work and well life in general i'll be holing up to avoid the freezingness not a real word but i like it. and i need help. nothing new is coming out that i am aware of on showtime or any other good network....

I am not into reruns. so with no delectable Dexter, no Californication to keep me warm and even the horrific America's next top models is has left the runway so i'm left with nothing. I saw three minutes of cashmere mafia and i alternated between wanting to puke or poke my own eyes out to avoid it. What makes dexter and moody so fab is called character depth. You know where characters are more than just the 'bitchy corporate' or the 'slutty stay at home' hmmm. It would be cheaper for the producers of cashmere mafia to use paper dolls than pay these actors because the characters have the depth of a piece of photo copy paper, not even card stock in that show. she's a bitch, she's clever, she's sneaky; and i'm fricking bored. If i want to see a woman hitting on a guy in a matching track suit all i have to do is look out my front door. At least that woman i can actually reach when i want to slap her.

So I need help. tell me a show, that has something. if it's cheese it needs to be excessive cheese, if it's silly i want real silly, with the american election coverage and the canadian news a girl needs an escape. i found myself caught on a terrible show on CBC (the canadian government channel really) the other night and it felt so 80's and haha fake; i wasn't even sure what to make of it. was it tongue in cheek? I'm still not sure.

I've made good progress on pillars of the earth which frankly is slightly depressing, not the book but the fact that it's better than anything on tv.

turning it off for now.
a

new years resolutions or lying to yourself.

okay i've been gone for awhile. i'd like to tell you that i've been on the beach surfing my ass off in bali like i did last xmas but alas this time i was working um working some more and then wall papering, painting and drinking; thankfully i did manage not to eat much. thank god that most people in my family cook like crap - not too tempted. The painting etc. is my debt payment to a century old house i love and own but the rooms just never seem to end. i now understand the 600 square foot condo; less work.
anyway now it's that time of year to decide what the hell i'm supposed to do to better myself or the world around me. i asked my father what his resolution was and he said, 'to smoke more' uh huh. his theory is that you should pick something you can really commit to. I can see his logic. so here are my amended new years resolutions and ones i plan to keep.
Resolution One: Have no big goal; so i've decided that this year i will not get a book published instead i will just write because i like to and screw the goals and aspirations of the A types. I'm going to do writing for writings sake and my own. it's a key part to maintaining my mental stability; that and running.
Resolution Two: I will not work because i love my work and am passionate about it, i will work because i like money or really i like the things money can get me. I will be honest about it.
Resolution Three: I plan to wear dresses and high heels more often. Why? i'm tired of always wearing jeans. That and there's just something sexy about heels. They change the way you view the world.
Resolution Four; I could put here to work out five days a week, but i've been doing that for years, it's not worth putting down. but when i woke this morning for my run at 5:15am and it was minus 20 I was tempted to put moving back to hot place as my first resolution.
Resolution Five; I'm so tired of people getting advice from everyone about everything. if you're relationship is in the crapper buy a dr phil book, if you need to see the light, buy the secret. when did the entire popuiation become such a weird, empty pack of lemmings that seems to need to ask everyone else for advice. So my resolution is to answer and solve my own problems. I don't need an expert. i know my life better than anyone. I actually do know best.

okay i'm bored with resolutions i still think the real beginning of the year is september. so here's some advice if you want to start the new year cutting a new path through the urban jungle.

1. eating too much makes you fat.
2. dating people who are way uglier than you are never works out in the end - and vice versa.
3. If you never exercise and eat crap you'll look like crap.
4. if you have debt, stop buying things.
5. if you need more money earn more.
6. spend some time in the sun each day.

grounding breaking advice huh? Have a good start to 2008!